Fun

Jokes

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. “There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning”.   “Who shall I call,” her husband said, “Police or ambulance?”

My sister talks so much that when she goes on holiday she has to spread sun tan lotion on her tongue!!

Soprano at a concert: And what would you like me to sing next?
Member of audience: Do you know “Old man river”? Soprano: er, yes.
Member of audience: well, go jump in it!

My uncle spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn't like him anyway!!    
Woman: If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee Man: If you were my wife, I'd drink it!

Do you think my wife should take up the piano as a career?
No, I think she should put the lid down as a favour!!

My peter keeps telling everyone he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.   What a shame! And after all the time you've been engaged!!

Oh, Doctor, my wife's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, 3 or 4 weeks time?  
I don't think these photographs you've taken do me justice. You don't want justice – you want mercy!!

A daft glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while then said: “It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides”!!

Cartoons

QUIZ

The answers to all the questions can be found in the Bible - look in the references given after the questions.Happy hunting!!

1. what happened twice after Peter denied Jesus? (Mark 14 verse 72)
2. what was the first miracle Jesus ever performed? (John 2 verses 8 & 9)
3. What did Jesus ask the samaritan woman for? (John 4 verse 7)
4. What happens in heaven when one sinner repents? (Luke 15 verse 7)
5. How did the friends of the crippled man get him in to see Jesus? (Luke 5 verse 18 & 19)